Domestic Bliss and Other Torments

Dear Ones:

After a month away it's been a sweet homecoming. The humidity greeted us with a soft wet kiss when we emerged from the terminal building at Suvarnabhumi. Of course, we immediately cranked up the air conditioner and praised the powers that be (EGAT) for a steady supply of electricity. Coming home has also been fraught with (un)foreseen expenses. Since AJ is taking a year off from Hunter College, we signed him up for health insurance as well as got him a one-year membership at our health club. It was cheaper than paying by the day. Gigi was glad to see us. The Silly Mutt agreed that AJ was worth a second sniff. And with that, his acceptance in the household was cemented; she no longer barks at him. As we went about our errands picking up the threads of our former routines, emergencies always happen, especially when you have somewhere else to be.

Yesterday morning, AJ and I were going out to the doctor's so I wanted to prepare a light breakfast for him and clean up a few things in the kitchen. I touched the kitchen faucet lever. The whole apparatus came off in my hand!

Water gushed in a great arc out of the wall missing the sink and spewing onto the kitchen floor, flowing out into the dining room and through the living room right out the front door. I looked under the arc of water, under the sink, to find the shut off valve. There wasn't any. I panicked and rushed out to the soi to try and shut off the main. But there were too many valves. Finally, I did what I should have done at first. I phoned Andy. He said to shut off the pump. I rushed back inside to do as he said. The deluge immediately dried up. That done, he directed me to the shut off valve; it was next to the washing machine. In a previous Letter from Thailand, you may remember that this isn't the first time the faucet broke off from the wall. Lesson learned at the time: never trust Thai plumbing. I vaguely remembered Andy telling me then that he had installed a valve. I had always assumed it was under the kitchen sink. 'Nother lesson learned: Always get visual confirmation.

I put rugs around the breakfront and the piano to protect the two most valuable pieces of furniture from water damage. Then AJ and I left the house to keep that doctor's appointment. Clean up would have to come later. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the open gate. I had forgotten to shut it when I came back in. Where was Gigi? I called her. Much to my relief, she trotted inside when she heard her name. One thing I've never been able to do is to teach the Silly Mutt to stay inside even though the gate is wide open.

The happy postscript to this is that Andy found a plumber who installed a new faucet--wouldn't you know it, it's the same model. More Adventures in Thailand for sure. Andy called me at the doctor's to tell me it was all done and that he had even mopped up the floors. He's such a sweetheart!

But this is Thailand and the adventures continue. Today I went to renew my driver's license. It was the usual bureaucratic tangle lasting three and a half hours.

First I had to produce my passport and my work permit as well as copies of said documents. I was given a number and directed to... watch a video. It was all in Thai, which wasn't helpful at all. As I watched the video, it dawned on me that I had to take a test for color blindness, reaction time, peripheral vision, and depth perception. My number was called. I was given back my papers and directed to this little room where I joined a long line of applicants to take the tests. As we shuffled from station to station, a functionary would sign our papers. At the last station, the papers got the Official Stamp of Approval an impressive four times. I was told to go back to the first window.

Behind the counter of the window, I joined a group of Asians and farangs watching a video on the rules of the road. I could barely hear the soundtrack, but it was in English and so were the subtitles. I realized we must be the Non-Thai Group. I had missed the first six parts (there were sixteen parts altogether) but it didn't seem to matter. After about 30 minutes, we started getting bored. I wondered if the Thai had to endure a similar video torment. If anybody needed to watch this it's the Thai for they are among the worst drivers in the world. The video went on for another 20 minutes. Surely there was going to be a test! There wasn't. Unaccountably, the farangs were disappointed. Ridiculous, they muttered. What was that for? I thought, did you really want to take a test?

I was given back my papers. My attendance at the video was duly noted. I was assigned a new number, and told to go wait at another window where I eventually got my new license. Getting it was the anti-climax. Like Christmas, the anticipation is always better than the holiday. My number was 128. When I sat down the number counter read: 96. By the time the counter read 128 I felt sorry for the poor man in front of me. He was holding a ticket that said 197. Lesson learned: Bureaucracy will get to you eventually.

Walk good,
Jo Anne